- #GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE UPDATE#
- #GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE FULL#
- #GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE SIMULATOR#
The dog walking is total bullshit (they have a mind of their own), but playing with your friend and joking around makes for a weirdly compelling way to spend 25 minutes. You’ll pick roses, walk dachshunds (a.k.a wiener dogs), go bowling and even have a romantic picnic together. The modes on offer include a party mode, a traditional option that lets you select individual mini-games and a date night mode.ĭate night is like a small co-op challenge where you and a friend will complete various activities together in a chance to find love. Along with being able to have four players all play simultaneously with a single gamepad, you can also take to the internet to challenge random penises to duels. You aren’t always just moving from scene to scene (there is an excellent training montage towards the middle), but this is definitely a more story driven experience than a strictly gameplay based one.Īt least if the story mode doesn’t do it for you, the multiplayer section is just as fleshed out as before.
#GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE SIMULATOR#
Much like The Stanley Parable, Genital Jousting also plays more like a walking simulator with some light gameplay elements. At times, it reminded me of The Stanley Parable with how it would point out the futility of video game choices or how making alternate choices would have the narrator question your sanity. Porno writing aside, Genital Jousting has a hilarious and surprisingly well done story mode. He eventually comes to realize the folly of his ways, but you just want to take John and smack him for thinking with his penis all the time…which might be hard for him not to do, seeing as he is a penis…he might also enjoy that…did I just write erotic fiction in a review? The only real troublesome part of the story is that John acts like a total dick and the narration doesn’t really berate him for it. The very catalyst for John’s whole journey is so similar to something I experienced that I nearly cried seeing it repeated here. I haven’t gone to the same lengths (ha!) as John, but I still struggle with some things that my fellow classmates said to me in the past. What I didn’t expect was for a game about an anthropomorphized penis to actually make me reflect on my own failings from high school. To spoil the hilarious narration would rob this game of its surprise, but suffice to say that there is plenty of innuendo to go around. What follows is a roughly 90 minute adventure where you’ll see John having nightmares over being rejected, quit his job and explore the world (by shoving world wonders up his ass), try dating on a mock-up of Tinder and even get into a “cockfight” at a bar. With his high school reunion coming up in six months, John makes a commitment to turn his life around and impress all of the bullies who tormented him in school. He is working a dead-end job at “Flesh Corp,” a dildo testing factory, and hasn’t been successful in his love life.
#GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE FULL#
Someone came up with the brilliant idea of including a fully narrated story mode for the full release of Genital Jousting, so now if you’re a solo player that enjoys pleasuring themselves, you have a reason to check out this package.Īs I mentioned above, Genital Jousting stars a penis named John that is having a bit of an identity crisis.
#GENITAL JOUSTING PLAY ONLINE UPDATE#
The game was definitely rough around the edges, but it exuded a certain charm that could not be denied.Īll of those multiplayer modes have been documented through various update posts and the like, so I’m going to focus more on the main course for this review. It quickly became a YouTube sensation for how absurd the concept was and how hilarious the game could get when knocking back a few drinks. It featured support for eight player battles where the microgames were swapped out Warioware style to make for crazy shenanigans. Released originally in early access on November 17, 2016, the game was a party game based around flaccid penises (penii?) penetrating one another. Genital Jousting isn’t exactly the newest game on the block. This is proof enough that we are living in the best timeline. All of the achievements of humankind have been leading up to this moment.Īlso, there is a story mode where you play as a dick named John who is trying to get ready for his high school reunion. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the ass of another penis. Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby.
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